I was struggling with even starting to shoot, so I decided I just needed to read photography books. I had to listen to other artists and mostly photographer's words to inspire me. I was not being able to do it on me own. Well I was in Chicago this weekend with my boyfriend, and we went to Borders. He proceeded to the History section on the basement level, and I to the Art section on the top floor...interesting the separation. I sat on the floor right in the middle of the aisle and started to pull books off the shelf. I had piles around me. I laid down on the floor using my jacket as a pillow. I proceeded to weed out the ones I wasn't interested in. In a hour, I had found 5 books that intrigued me. I opened one, and it was about a history of Nude photography... Interesting to me, partly because we had never been able to shoot nudes, but for another reason as well... This is where the journey started.
I have recently found out that my oldest sister has been diagnosed with breast cancer. We do not know what stage she is in yet. She has a tumor in her breast and they are doing surgery on her on Monday (tomorrow) and then finding out if it has spread and from there, if it has, radiation or chemotherapy, if it hasn't spread, awesome! As most of you know, my mom passed away after a two year fight with cancer...However, you may not know, that my dad fought cancer when my mom was fighting hers as well. I also had my own fight with cancer a long time ago, and now my oldest sister, who has a family of 4 herself fight her own battle. That is more then 50% of my immediate family that has had this disease "haunt" us. I have always wanted to shoot pictures of my dad, because secretly I think he is a super hero to watch two of his children fight cancer, his wife pass away from it, to fight it himself, and in the past to also watch his son killed by a car and his house burn to the ground while trying to get his family out. However, it is not my time to do that yet...I know that. That is for a special time. With that point aside...I would like to focus on this enemy that has taken a inspirational woman from my life, has inflicted my life forever, and who continues to plague my family! I would like to meet others who have seen death possibly and fought it and decided to grab the bastard and throw it to the ground! I would like to hear what other people think about this incurable and unpredictable hell. So, the next start of my journey was:
I am a child cancer survivor. I am a person who has lost someone they dearly love to cancer. I have 6 people in my immediate family, and 4 of them have had/still have cancer. I am all these things, but I am also a photographer. I am someone who wants to hear from YOU, and to see YOU and to possibly photograph YOU. I would like to understand, or know what other people feel towards this unpredictable enemy. I would like to hear those words from you or from those you know who have faced this similar things...I would like to bring awareness through you. I am not sure if I will be successful, but all I can is try. I am someone small in this world, but I have faced much, and I would like to see much more...Can you help me? If you can, or if you know anyone who would talk to me about their experience with cancer, I hope very much that you will call me, so I can add your story to mine, and help others to just begin to understand and be aware of what you and I have felt already... PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ANYONE YOU MAY KNOW. Children, Elderly, Moms, Sisters, Fathers, Brothers, Friends are all welcome...
Here is my #
The ball is in your court now...
Thank You
MCB
facebook.com/MCBcancerjourney (in process right now)
This is the poster that I have made and am going to put up around towns, hospitals, restaurants etc... I hope people will tell me their story and eventually let me photograph them. I am going to record them and document their experiences. I would like this to be something...I am not sure what...but I thought I would let THEM help me with the journey.
This is one of my two journeys I have decided to explore. I will put this up now...and let you know in a bit how the other one is going and update you about this one...
THE END
2 comments:
PS. I know Shane will shake his head when he sees this comment, but I just wanted to apologize for my grammar and spelling mistakes... I wrote this very quickly, like a journal entry and in a passionate fury. So, read around them. Thank you:)
Mary, I am glad you are using your own personal experiences to help guide your photographic process. It seems like you have a system that will allow to explore issues you never would have if you chose the subject. If they choose you, you will be exposed to so many possibilities. I'll have to search out these posters around GB!
And for what it's worth, I think that you are an incredibly strong woman who, despite all that has happened to you and your family, continue to have a positive outlook on life and I know you can make great things happen - if photography is one of your outlets for doing so, then that is something you should follow.
By the way, your dad may not outwardly act like a super hero, but you know he is inside. I only met him for a few brief minutes, but I could tell how genuine he was and that his heart is pure gold - you are extremely blessed to have a man of his character in your life. You may not be ready for that project yet, but don't be afraid to inch in every so often. Just talk to him, ask him questions you've always wanted to know. Take the opportunity to get to know him in ways you never have before. I interviewed my mom for a school project, asking her questions I never quite felt comfortable doing before, but now that I have I feel as though I have seen her in a new light. Maybe that light's exactly what you need to illuminate your eventual photographs of him, his things, hobbies, anything!
This project has so many possibilities!! Follow through and you won't be disappointed. Kudos for having the courage to face your fears. Thoughts and prayers to you and your sister as well -- keep us updated. Thinking of you!
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