My anger is not against my world but myself. I wish I could see things differently most of the time. Mostly in a literal sense, but metaphorical as well. When I'm driving I see that the blue splotchy sky would be beautiful if those damn power lines weren't interrupting my view. The park would be beautiful if those damn brightly colored plastic slides weren't jutting up from the cement slab someone just needed there. I see my world interrupted. I see beauty distorted. I see things that I wish I could not. I am blessed to see. This ability also makes me anxious. I want to look people in the eye and have conversation. I want to share seeing with other people. I want to show what I can see. But what I see is ugly. I see the baby plants struggling to break through pavement. It is most simply speaking, due to my eyes that I can see, of course. But what can eyes show you? Portraits were made for an audience and I downright hate them. Thus, my challenge. When taking portraits eyes are not even focusing on the photographer but the glass lens behind which one of the photographer's own eyes interprets. What can you interpret from staring eyes outside of conversation? Can these eyes show you that I'm struggling to pay rent, that I'm lost beyond belief, that I'm trying? What is the draw to portraiture? Can you show a concept through simple reflections?
4 comments:
I understand your anger.
Couple things come to mind: I avoided the powerlines for so long for the same reason. Now I photograph them and everything else. Sounds to me like you described a legitimate photography project in the things you don't want to photograph.
Also, portraiture! Check out mine, if you like: rockwaterphotography.com. Also, I could send you my thesis paper if you'd like more perspective on portraiture. And, one more thing: what you write makes me think that you should try creating portraits where all of your subjects are looking at the eye (yours) that is not stuck behind the viewfinder.
And oh yeah: you can never control what your viewer gets from a photo. Those eyes can tell you none of those things, but a viewer may receive any of them.
Do you remember the young woman who committed suicide whose work I showed your intermediate class? Can't remember her name but you should look at her again.
Shane, you know me well. Well enough to encourage me to do something I just plainly don't want to. Isn't that the way it goes?!
I have many ideas for this whole idea of portraits. I'm trying to cater around the equipment I have currently and my budget (my small digital works best for both).
And yes, I can't get those images from that gal out of my head. I'm recently much more drawn to b+w now... interesting.... But yeah, if you remember her name please let me know. I tried to look up her under a word search and got a morbid that I was not hoping for. EEEK!
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