Pretty Kick Ass!

Check it out!

http://www.npr.org/blogs/pictureshow/2010/01/the_impossible_project_reinven.html

Assignment #3 and #2 photos

Assignment 2 photos:




To be honest, I didn't want to post any of the pics I took over the weekend, because I simply wasn't feeling them. But I did anyway because I know this is a process and one that can be frustrating at times. I had much more time and a variety of places to go for my first assignment, and I was limited over the weekend, but regardless here are some images out of just 50 or so that I shot on Saturday.

I wasn't sure where to start, so I got in my car like always and started to drive. Since it was long weekend vacation I was at home, although I worked most of the time, but that got me thinking. What if I followed the lawn mowing route and stopped and shot photos of the things that caught my eye? That's just what I did. None of the photos have any particular feelings or meaning, just purely photographs that I captured because I was drawn to them for some reason - unknown even to me. I'm not thrilled about any of them and it was hard for me to even post them, but feedback would be nice in any case ;)

Assignment 3: Oct. 10-Oct. 16

cap to every that Me, seemed different down the never and and this - before. am on the and upper

(I'll be in Chicago this weekend: if any movie shootings are going on I can't promise that some of my photos won't be of attractive looking men....oh jake gyllenhaal.... :P)

Peace!

A New Journey is About to Begin...

Ok...So I have not added photos in awhile on here. I still don't have any I would like to share (not because they are secret, just because I am not "feeling" any of them), but I was truly inspired today, and I am ready to start a journey, and just see where it will lead me... I have absolutely NO idea if it will go anywhere, and that is what excites me. I haven't had that feeling in awhile.

I was struggling with even starting to shoot, so I decided I just needed to read photography books. I had to listen to other artists and mostly photographer's words to inspire me. I was not being able to do it on me own. Well I was in Chicago this weekend with my boyfriend, and we went to Borders. He proceeded to the History section on the basement level, and I to the Art section on the top floor...interesting the separation. I sat on the floor right in the middle of the aisle and started to pull books off the shelf. I had piles around me. I laid down on the floor using my jacket as a pillow. I proceeded to weed out the ones I wasn't interested in. In a hour, I had found 5 books that intrigued me. I opened one, and it was about a history of Nude photography... Interesting to me, partly because we had never been able to shoot nudes, but for another reason as well... This is where the journey started.

I have recently found out that my oldest sister has been diagnosed with breast cancer. We do not know what stage she is in yet. She has a tumor in her breast and they are doing surgery on her on Monday (tomorrow) and then finding out if it has spread and from there, if it has, radiation or chemotherapy, if it hasn't spread, awesome! As most of you know, my mom passed away after a two year fight with cancer...However, you may not know, that my dad fought cancer when my mom was fighting hers as well. I also had my own fight with cancer a long time ago, and now my oldest sister, who has a family of 4 herself fight her own battle. That is more then 50% of my immediate family that has had this disease "haunt" us. I have always wanted to shoot pictures of my dad, because secretly I think he is a super hero to watch two of his children fight cancer, his wife pass away from it, to fight it himself, and in the past to also watch his son killed by a car and his house burn to the ground while trying to get his family out. However, it is not my time to do that yet...I know that. That is for a special time. With that point aside...I would like to focus on this enemy that has taken a inspirational woman from my life, has inflicted my life forever, and who continues to plague my family! I would like to meet others who have seen death possibly and fought it and decided to grab the bastard and throw it to the ground! I would like to hear what other people think about this incurable and unpredictable hell. So, the next start of my journey was:

I am a child cancer survivor. I am a person who has lost someone they dearly love to cancer. I have 6 people in my immediate family, and 4 of them have had/still have cancer. I am all these things, but I am also a photographer. I am someone who wants to hear from YOU, and to see YOU and to possibly photograph YOU. I would like to understand, or know what other people feel towards this unpredictable enemy. I would like to hear those words from you or from those you know who have faced this similar things...I would like to bring awareness through you. I am not sure if I will be successful, but all I can is try. I am someone small in this world, but I have faced much, and I would like to see much more...Can you help me? If you can, or if you know anyone who would talk to me about their experience with cancer, I hope very much that you will call me, so I can add your story to mine, and help others to just begin to understand and be aware of what you and I have felt already... PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ANYONE YOU MAY KNOW. Children, Elderly, Moms, Sisters, Fathers, Brothers, Friends are all welcome...

Here is my #

The ball is in your court now...

Thank You

MCB

facebook.com/MCBcancerjourney (in process right now)

This is the poster that I have made and am going to put up around towns, hospitals, restaurants etc... I hope people will tell me their story and eventually let me photograph them. I am going to record them and document their experiences. I would like this to be something...I am not sure what...but I thought I would let THEM help me with the journey.

This is one of my two journeys I have decided to explore. I will put this up now...and let you know in a bit how the other one is going and update you about this one...

THE END

Assignment #2 and #1 photos

Assignment 2: 10/2-9
his spoke him advice. living been lawn tell allowance keeps family been you was facts has taking the today. pigs

Assignment 1 recap
When I picked out the 20 words and typed them up, I printed them out on a square 2-inch piece of paper that I then taped them to the back of my camera. I never knew buying the Nikon D5000 with the 360-degree screen would come in so handy. Not only can I tape the words on the black plastic part so that they are always facing me when I'm taking pictures, but my digital is also acting more like my film camera in that I am not reviewing my pictures after each shot - it's a surprise :) My goal is to shoot about 200 photos/assignment, more if possible, but to do so patiently and diligently with a wide variety.

I wasn't quite sure where to start, but since it was such a beautiful sunny day on Wednesday I had to get in my car and drive. Not knowing where to go, I searched MapQuest for any streets or towns named "Katie" in the area, and the map said there was a Katie Lane near Kaukana in a small town called Holland. I printed out the directions and just drove, stopping occasionally to take photos of the landscape and buildings. When I got into Holland I searched and searched for this Katie Lane, but I never found it.

Back through country roads I was driving when I spotted a small cemetery on a hill. I pulled over and started walking around, looking at the stones. This must have been primarily a family cemetery as only a handful of last names existed, the most populous being - Ellis and Walker. I wondered who had walked through here, who now rested here, and what the circumstances were. My favorite tombstone was carved like a tree trunk with a book resting on top, with carved ivy and an anchor at the base of the trunk. But what was most interesting was a tombstone that was higher with another book on top, with a real vine plant crawling up its base and almost covering the inscriptions. This tombstone almost looked out over the graveyard and the city in the backyard. I could even see the blue water tower from this angle. As I peered back to my camera to read the words, I wondered what made me stop the car and walk up here. Maybe I had thought about the shoes that had walked there, but when I left I realized that it was really the breathing that was there and still is because of the plants and trees. I admit, it was weird walking there by myself in the middle of nowhere, but it was also peaceful and not spooky like I thought it would be.

I decided to ditch the maps and try to find my way back to campus through the back roads, and wouldn't you know it, about an hour later I wound up driving on X past a dead end called Video Lane. I didn't even know this road existed. So I turned around and drove down it, and it led to a huge asphalt plant. As I came closer to the fence, I looked to my right and there was a radio tower that looked like the building had a UFO on top - it was very strange. At the same time a dump truck sped down the straight gravel path - certainly not abiding by the 10 mph speed limit sign. He looked at me and gave me a strange look, but as I hadn't gone past the fence, he couldn't tell me I was trespassing. If you've ever seen the movie Erin Brokovich, it was this strange place out in nowhere and I felt like Julia Roberts sneaking water samples that were probably contaminated due to toxins. I don't know why, but it just did not seem like a Wisconsin place, it seemed foreign, and I felt slightly uneasy being there.

On Friday my mom came up to visit. We planned on driving up to Door County, but we had a late start, so we decided to drive to Sherwood to High Cliff State Park and did some hiking. We had a great time - it was beautiful weather, the trees were just starting to change, we climbed the look-out tower, and joked that the carved steps down the cliff looked like something out of the movie Lord of the Rings. She was being sarcastic and pretended to be Gandalf in the Mines of Moria saying, "Don't come here!" I started laughing, "Mom, you mean, 'You shall not pass?'" We were both walking along narrow, steep paths, and her agility surprised me. Not that she isn't fit, but she's had so many back problems and health issues that she must have been energized by being out in nature, as was I. Not wanting to waste daylight, we decided to drive on, hoping to make it to another state park taking Highway 10 to Two Rivers on the shore of Lake Michigan, but it started to get cloudy.

Earlier we had driven past an old barn and abandoned house where a sign said "POSTED, No Hunting, Fishing, Trespassing." Where exactly you could fish on this plot of weedy land is beyond me, but the point was clear - don't enter here. The driveway was even padlocked, though it would have been easy to just drive around it. We pulled over and I walked along the side of the road and changed to a zoom lens. My mom called out, "Aren't you going to go inside?" I couldn't believe she said that, my mom whom I thought always played by the rules. "Are you crazy?" I shouted back. I've been in enough trouble, I thought, but I was still curious. There didn't seem to be any cars driving along the road, but there was a sharp curve so you couldn't really be sure. I started to step closer and closer to the house, but it was still a ways off when I suddenly heard a vehicle zooming towards us. I freaked out and ran back to the car where my mom was swinging her legs back and forth from the end of the SUV and eating the caramel apple we had just bought at an orchard a few miles back. She was so calm, almost child-like in that moment, and we both laughed as got back in and drove on.

Later we went to Brillion. That is the town my mom grew up in until she was four, and she had mentioned she had never been back to see her house. She wasn't sure she even remembered where it was located. But she called her older brother and he gave some vague directions. As we entered Brillion, I saw a restaurant that looked like it came out of the 50s. When my mom saw Rudy's too, she knew she was close. She remarked that she didn't know where to go next, but as if she was remembering her surroundings with ease, at the next street (Columbus Avenue) she turned right and drove very slowly not keeping to her lane. "I have a picture of me on the sidewalk that wrapped around our house to the backyard, there was a fence there." She said she didn't know if this was right, but suddenly she stopped the car in the middle of the road and just stared out her window to the left. "Is that it?" I asked. She said nothing, just stared. As if to herself, "They didn't change the color. I was afraid they'd paint it a different color." Then as we drove on, she spotted it - the sidewalk. This was it. She pulled the car around and parked on that side of the street. I asked her if she wanted a picture with the house, and she said yes, all the while very silent. First she stood in the driveway. "This must be over 50 years old - look at how cracked it still is, and the same garage, too." And it was, cracks and weeds growing up all over, a tiny blue and white garage that looked like it could barely hold one car. I took a few shots of her as she walked to the door, "Should I ring the doorbell? Oh, look, it's the same one as we had." She knocked and rang, but no one came to the door. The only real change, she said, was the big plastic bear that greeted you as you walked in, and there was no fence in the back yard. She was adamant that I didn't get the bear in the photo of her as she stood on the porch steps. As we got in the car and continued driving, we had other conversations, but she would interrupt saying things like, "I didn't really want to come back here, but I'm glad I did," and "Isn't it strange that I found it on the first try?" I know she wasn't looking for a response, she was in her own world, but I was glad to have been there with her as she experienced this "on familiar wonder, the exactly familiarity she came."

Assignment 1: 9/29-10/2

on unfamiliar wonder, the exactly familiarity she came birthday sarcastic? between together just crates. me shoes Katie way videos have- breathing

Blunt Bono, very blunt, but thank you - I needed to hear that!

[Photography is often what keeps me up at night - yes I'm in my pj's -- I was about to go to bed tonight when all of its possibilities started emerging in my mind :) ]

I had dinner with a dear friend on Friday -- a dinner that lasted more than 3 hours -- simply because he asked the question, "What are you afraid of?" after I revealed to him my anxieties with my approaching graduation. What am I afraid of? Why, when I've been asked how my photography project is going, do I cower and respond that it simply isn't going at all? It's not like me to not take something head on, even when I'm uncomfortable with it. I couldn't accurately answer the question for my friend at that time, but after thinking about it this weekend I think I realized what may be behind it: I'm living my life on a 3-month deadline.

Three months until graduation (actually now less than that), and I'm starting to freak out about my accomplishments thus far and where I am headed. I don't have a job lined up, as I am only now starting to apply to jobs that - you've guessed it - aren't really related to my major or my minor. I feel pressure to have this job so I can help support my boyfriend as he works full time and also goes to school, who has also in the past week asked me to move in with him come December. I feel like my life is being planned for me, and it scares me that I'm not in control of it. But why can't I be? I CAN say no to a job that I don't feel passionately about, I CAN say I'm not ready to move in with my boyfriend (which I finally had the courage to do) because I need to figure my life out first, and that I CAN reclaim my passion for photography. I CAN do all of these things, but it can be scary to take them on when you don't have a back-up plan or one that is less than you desire. For instance, if I don't have a job come December, I will still be living at home, under the same rules and environment as I have up until now. I put a tremendous amount of pressure on myself to do things the "right" way, and so to go into a photography project (or a life project, if you will) that I don't feel absolutely grounded in and which I can't see the end result in (which I SHOULDN'T be doing anyway) is making me vulnerable and exposed to failure. But again, WHY is failure always considered a BAD thing? Haven't we tried redefining failure in class? Now it's time to put it into practice in our lives. You never know if you don't try.

And so after U2's "Stuck in A Moment You Can't Get Out Of" popped up when shuffling my iTunes, I felt that THIS was my moment to begin. To actually commit. To pick up my camera and DO THIS! Mary - your post was SO inspiring, and Jacki and Monica- the fact that you've been posting your work lately has really made me want to get back into this groove that we have been temporarily pulled away from.

So in the words of my dear Bono:

I'm not afraid
Of anything in this world
There's nothing you can throw at me
That I haven't already heard

I'm just tryin' to find
A decent melody
A song that I can sing
In my own company

I never thought you were a fool
But darling, look at you
You gotta stand up straight, carry your own weight
'Cause tears are going nowhere, baby

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it

Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

I will not forsake
The colors that you bring
The nights you filled with fireworks
They, they left you with nothing

I am still enchanted
By the light you brought to me
I listen through your ears
Through your eyes I can see

You are such a fool
To worry like you do
I know it's tough and you can never get enough
Of what you don't really need now, my, oh my

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

Oh love, look at you now
You've got yourself stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

I was unconscious, half asleep
The water is warm 'til you discover how deep
I wasn't jumping, for me it was a fall
It's a long way down to nothing at all

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if your way should falter
Along on this stony pass

And if, and if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass

It's just a moment
This time will pass


The Photo Assignments Begin:

What I realized is that unless I discipline myself and always provide myself enough options and opportunities, I will never follow through with this project. You all know where it emerged from, but I don't know where it is going. I've hit that peak where everything I think I know is already laid out on the table (i.e.blog) for you all to see. What comes next none of us can anticipate. I love surprises, so this should be a fun time :)

So...what to do when you've already coughed up everything you're aware of? When you've hit that imaginary wall that I usually call writer's block, but in this case photo block? Recycle and reuse assignments that helped spark emotion and creativity in the past. And for this I thank you Shane for opening up the barrier between words and art: the cut-up paper project.

Since I didn't know what I was in for last time I blistered up my fingers from ravenous scissor use, I decided to blow up my font to a manageable 14 pt. size and double space the words (all 2,463 of them) of my 2 blog posts that reread (thanks for the tip, Mary) that I found to have provoked the most emotion and discovery for me personally. So, from the most recent "Every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type of heaven." ~Tryon Edwards and "Dad & I: Do the albums lie?" blog posts, I have cut up each word and put them in my jumbo-marshmallows-in-cocoa-friendly SNC mug.

Tomorrow morning I will wake up (though the temptation is really really tugging at me to pick them out now) and pull out a few random pinches of paper and then type them up in the order I picked them, and then they will be added to a plastic zip baggy so they don't pollute the rest of the mug, which, at the end of this project may be filled with a celebratory margarita :)

With these randomly generated words [(which are going to kick ass because I wrote them in the first place -- hah, sorry, I don't think snarky is my look, but I had to try it) correction: which will be both frustrating to work with and also highly revealing to me (there that's better)] I will re-familiarize myself with this technological hunk of plastic and glass (that some would call a camera, or in my case, a lens through which to see the world) and shoot. Yes, you heard me. SHOOT. I will SHOOT everything and anything related, even remotely, to these wonderful words that have taken me thus far but may still pack a punch to ignite the fire under my project (and my stubborn butt). Maybe the photos will be literal, others figurative, others intuitive (remember the Myer's Briggs?- I was a huge N) but in any case, I am going to do this thing.

And the best part is that I'm not going to say I have to be "done" with it by December 14. Why should art stop when school does? All of you have graduated and have proved to me that it doesn't stop there, and what a relief that is! I'll take out a chunk of words each week, post those words on the blog for you to see, to ponder about what I might be shooting during that week (if you so choose to follow) and then I will post some images related to those words, and repeat that process with a brand new set the following week.

I'm uber excited about where this could take me, because for the first time I'm not going into it seeing the end result. There is no possible way to know. I'm not even going to brainstorm "what if's" because that will just get me stuck into photo block. Maybe I'll fail, but who the hell cares? That's the perfect leaping board for new discoveries.

Rock on PHOTOPHANTASTICCS!