After reading Shane's post about sometimes not feeling motivated or inspired, I was relieved. Up until the last few weeks I have always wanted to shoot, eager to see what I could find next. But then it seemed like all of that dried up. I wasn't sure why it happened, it just did. During that time, when I knew I should have been shooting for this project, I felt like I needed a break. Not from photography, just from actively 'creating.'
It was the same week that Drew and I took a vacation up north to Ashland on Lake Superior by my aunt and uncle that I remembered what it was like to shoot just for fun. I didn't carelessly take them, but I could just relax my mind and be a touristy photographer for once. I took out my old digital on the boat out to Madeline Island and shot photos of the sunset, sailboats, and us sizzling up mussels on the fire. While that kind of photography doesn't usually lead to revelations and is what I've been trying to get away from since Intro to Photo when I was introduced to fine art photography, I realized that once in a while, it's okay to break from a strict routine. You have to mix it up a little bit here and there and do some things for yourself. It was just the break I needed to come back into this project with fresh eyes, and here is what I am starting to see:
I'm highly critical. Of myself and of others. Perhaps mainly my parents' relationship. I know this because on every Myer's-Briggs I've taken my 'judging' side is dominant -- WAY dominant. Maybe that gives me a sharp eye for things (like copyediting for my internship, let's say) but it also eats away at me because I'm constantly comparing. I read my last few blog posts again, and I sounded so whiny, so sure that I knew everything about my mom and dad. This part of me seems to be interferring in my photo project way too much. Who am I to judge my parents? Yes, I have the ability to do that, but do I really want this project to turn into a commentary about their shortcomings? Not really.
At first I think I was repelling any sign that I would become them. But let's face it, some things I can control, and others I can't, so instead of worrying about that so much I should just let things be. That doesn't mean that I'm going to stop taking photos of my parents, but I feel as though my perception of the project is altering. I'm just going to go with the flow. Easier said then done, but if I think about it, maybe my parents are just the 'dump' (not literally of course), and instead of looking at the end of the project as I see it in my mind, I am erasing that picture and replacing it with a piece of light-sensitive photo paper. Blank and unclear until it is ready to be developed. That process takes time. It's what Shane's been teaching us all along, but now that we're outside of a classroom setting, we need to put it into practice on our own.
I'll ask the same questions as appeared on Richard Billingham's commentary, and I'd really like to here what you guys think.
1. do you exploit those who you photograph?
2. does the artist's intent really matter, or is it just the viewer's opinion?
I'm not sure I have a solid answer for either one of those yet, but I'll come back to them eventually.
The photos above are of my dad preparing a lawn he is about to seed and his three lifelines: water jugs, a cooler for food, and his black leather business book. This was two days before we got nailed with 5 inches in a few hours. Yikes! We just have to wait and see if the seed will survive or if it washed in areas. Hope none of your basements/cars flooded!
Also, if you've never done so or haven't in a while, I'd encourage you to take the
Myers-Briggs (Jungian) test. It's free online and it can give you a bit more insight into yourself and how you act/react around others and situations. It might be a key into your photographic process as well...I'm an INFJ, what about you?
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